Getting Ready For Back To School

'Tis the season. For Back to School, that is. So, to keep in the spirit of things, I have begun to prepare my arsenal of retorts for those wonderfully presumptuous comments we are sure to receive.

Top 10 answers you should give to the question "What?! No School Today?"*

10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.

9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!

8. No, we homeschool. We’re just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.

7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! I thought I told you to stay at school! I’m sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)

6. There isn’t? Why, you’d think we’d see more kids out then, don’t you?

5. We’re on a field trip studying human nature’s intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!

4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn’t give it away… keep your antennae down!)

3. Oh my goodness! I thought that today was Saturday…come on kids, hurry!

2. Noooooope.Me ‘n Bubba jes’ learns ‘em at home. Werks reel good!
And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question: “What? No school today?”

1. “What? No Bingo today?”

* Ok, so I took some poetic lisence with the original title of the article...it really read: Top 10 Answers You Should NEVER Give to the Question “What?! No School Today?”