Is It Just My Kids?!

It must be Spring Fever or some such affliction. The sillies have infiltrated our household. They've been here for days. And they are manifesting themselves in various forms of toilet humour, spastic outbursts of physical energy, ear piercing, neighbour disturbing noise and utterly ridiculous things that should never go on under a civilized roof.

I'm really trying to be patient. I'm really trying to remember they're only kids once and they don't have to be quiet and serious and occupied 24/7. But, Lord help me they just don't know when to stop.

Today after lunch I declared a one hour quiet time. I think it was the 7 year old coming up with a strip-tease in the living room to 'I'm too Sexy For My Shirt' that put me over the edge. Who puts that song into a children's movie?!

We all retired to our respective bedrooms with some afternoon reading. I was basking in the peace and tranquility...or at least the first 30 seconds of what I thought was going to be peace and tranquility. That's when I heard it. A beeping noise. A little electronic blip. The little heathens had pirated the 2-way radios into their rooms and were whispering sweet nothings to each other across the airwaves. And giggling.

Is there no reprieve for the weary?!? Really, just a few minutes of seriousness?! Of something other than armpit farts and finding it hilariously funny to hide the money from the coin cup we need for our math lesson? Something besides eating fallen crumbs off the dog and using up the tape to make sticky-balls to thow at each other? I suppose I could count the I'm-Too-Sexy Strip Tease as Dramatic Arts or Creative Expression. But I really don't want to. I know no man is an island, but I swear, if Brian so much as smirks at a single thing these children pulled today, I'm going to pack up my books, my duvet and some form of chocolate and move to one of the uninhabited 1000 Islands just to prove good ol' John Donne wrong.